Thursday, December 18, 2014

Worth

Someone recently inquired how many oxen, camels, and cows my father was asking for me.
And we both laughed.

Having a bride price is such a foreign concept for my American mind. My Dad does not have a list of things he would like to aquire in exchange for my hand in marriage (Except maybe another Giants fan to add to the mix). He does not expect to cash in at my wedding. In the same vein, my husband will not think he needs to bring livestock to the rehearsal dinner. Although that would be cool.

My bride price was set by my Nigerian boss, Dr. Chris, at a fair rate for my age and ability. As a 19-year-old college student with very few [known] health problems I could go for a good chunk of change. But what about today? After some years have gone by and life has taken a few unexpected twists and turns, is my bride price still a fair deal? Lets do the math shall we...


As of October 2008, Caitlin Baird's bride price is $20,000 USD

Depreciation: Age. - 1000 per year x 6 years 

Education: + 2000 per degree 

Trade: Employment + 2000

Debt: Student loans - 8000, Subaru - 8000 

Physical Wellness: Failing heart - 10000

Nice smile: + 200

As of December 2014, Caitlin Baird's bride price is [drumroll please....]  $2,220 USD


So my Dad is still making money--Awesome! And I don't qualify as a spinster yet--Bonus!

But does that price reflect anything? 

The easiest answer is No. I made up the qualifications in our math lesson so it holds absolutely no value. Anywhere. And I was taught that I am a priceless individual whom God loves and is a benefit to the world. You can put no price tag on me.

The harder and maybe more realisitic answer is Quite Possibly. 

We live in a world where we love to "give value" to things. People sue to get back what they believe they lost in an emotional life event. Designers and architects and artists are given the chance to set a price on their creation. It's the reason people stocked up on Beanie Babies in the late 90s. It's the reason people look at logos. It's the reason I paid a week's worth of wages to see U2 from behind the stage.

We agreed with the price.


My heart continues to be burdened with stories of tragedy around the world of people not finding value: in other people, in health, in percieved beauty, in forests and animals and oceans. People who don't find value in hope. In goodness. In God.

But there are some who get it.

My Nigerian friends give me a new and beautiful perspective on having a bride price. The men I talk to have had to work for the women they love, some of them for years. There are respectful conversations between families as prices and payments are negotiated. The women, in return, know they were worth it. Everyone I have celebrated with sees value not only in each other but in their community, their commitment, and their hard work.

I need to remember that the people who I see as full of hate, who are killing chidren and running cartels and encouraging addictions, have a bride price. As much as I want to call them worthless, just as strongly as the desire to call myself priceless, they are still loved by YHWH. 

In the spirit of this season (and because I am a Sunday School teacher) remember that we are all bought. None of us has a blank price tag. And Jesus has enough to pay for each one.

May we all be given a fair bride price. May we see the worth of everyone and everything. And may it all be worth it.